Release the Kraken!

The 1981 remake of Clash of Titans finally hit theaters this weekend and I’m already predicting that it will be the number 1 movie dominating the box office. It will do well not because it’s  yet another 3D movie released this year nor because Sam Worthington is in it (a 3D “veteran” already with Avatar under his belt).

I think this movie will do well because we all love a good yarn involving the battle between man and the gods. It’s filled with action, mythical monsters and high adventure. The theater I went to was packed with many enthusiastic movie-goers of all ages. This movie brought back memories of seeing classics like Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger, The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad and Jason and the Argonauts at home as a kid. These were movies of stalwart adventurers going on perilous quests and battling fearsome monsters to save the day (or a damsel or two in distress). I love those movies!

This remake however, possesses little of that magic and child-like awe I once held for movies of its ilk. I loved the original Clash of the Titans (yes, with all its dated special effects by the master Ray Harryhausen and the cheesy acting) and remembered going to the movies as a very young kid to see it. I, among many, wondered why the heck remake yet another what many consider a classic? Has Hollywood truly run out of ideas? The answer is yes.

My primary problem with the remake is the casting of Sam Worthington. I just didn’t see him as the Perseus I read about ever since elementary school, reading all those Greek mythology stories. There was no character buildup for any of the characters in the movie. You never really cared for any of them. One moment a group of warriors set out on their quest and in another moment they are all cut down leaving only a scattered few. I felt no loss whatsoever and knew that the rest would die, leaving only Perseus. The few gods shown weren’t highly interesting either. I would’ve loved to have seen the other gods have more involvement in the story, possibly providing intrigue and  immortal drama in the court of Mt. Olympus. Opportunity lost here. Instead we get Liam Neesom and Ralph Fiennes doing their usual acting we’ve seen before in other movies. Easy paycheck here. The only actor I looked forward to seeing on the screen was  Gemma Arterton (Quantum of Solace and the upcoming Prince of Persia) who played the tragic figure, Io. She’s very beautiful and a good actress. Definitely would like to see more of her in the future.

The story is loosely based from the original (which I had issues with the liberties that were taken from the original myths) involving angry gods and the saving of Andromeda from the terrible Kraken. I found the story and the dialogue lacking at times. It just muddled through from one special effects piece to another.

I must admit that I really loved the giant scorpion battle scenes and the Medusa battle but these were also eye candy. I felt more tension watching the warriors fight the Ray Harryhausen stop-motion Medusa than this CGI one. This Medusa’s demise was over far too quickly for me and not really satisfying. The ending with the Kraken felt like the makers of the film blew all of their money on a CGI-orgasmic fest. I thought I had my PS3 controller handy during a God of War sequence, ready to press on the O or X buttons at any moment.

This was the worse 3D film I’ve seen to date. This movie was converted to 3D after it was made, a move to appease the audiences’ demand for 3D and to fill the pockets of greedy executives. What this means is that the 3D wasn’t up to par. It was plain horrible, especially around the heads of the primary actors during closeups. The depth of field I saw in Avatar and even in How to Train Your Dragon was not present. This movie will look better in regular 2D on Bluray. I took my daughter to see this movie and she fell asleep. She really wanted to see it and in her defense, she was very tired as we caught the 10:00 pm showing. I didn’t feel too bad however as we were both treated to this movie free of charge, courtesy of two re-admit tickets I had from a previous movie screening.

This movie has it’s moments but they are better left experienced on the small screen. Wait for the DVD by this summer.

2 thoughts on “Release the Kraken!

  1. I have to agree with you on just about every point there, Nando.

    The film seemed very rushed in it’s pacing as if the director showed up to shoot it but needed to be somewhere else that afternoon. Along with the addition of flat supporting characters, no development led to a ho-hum waste of time. Hollywood’s Golden-boy of the moment, Sam Worthington, tries to flex his cinematic chops yet again but falls completely flat and unbelievable in his portrayal as Perseus. After his last few films (Can Avatar really count? Anyone at this point could have played that role seeing how over 75% of the film was a Na’vi CG representation. So, it really didn’t matter who the actor would have been. I mean Ray Winstone was Beowulf for Christ’s sake!) and lest we forget that train wreck, Terminator Salvation, Sam Worthington is really proving to be Sam Worthless.

    I for one also have the Hollywood idea forever lodged in my head that everyone in ancient Greece or Rome spoke with an English accent so when I see a movie where the lead doesn’t, it spoils the film for me a little.

    After it was all said an done, I was left wondering what a director like Peter Jackson or James Cameron would have done to a Classic like this. Hollywood wants to bring back the Epic experience to movie goers but this one was just Epic Fail.

    Rent it.

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